Hello you!

I wanted to write you, especially since I know the last few years have not been easy. Five years ago, you gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. The birth went just fine but the first two weeks did not. Doctor visits didn't help and two weeks later your son ended up having surgery for Pyloric Stenosis. It was several months before he could hold down a decent amount of food and liquid.

He was never much of a sleeper but everything else seemed okay, for awhile. Between two and three years of age, you noticed behaviors that seemed out of the norm: obsessing on certain things, strong separation anxiety, and perseveration. Finally, at four plus years of age, you received a diagnosis. Asperger's Syndrome, a high-functioning form of Autism.

Now what? He's a social guy, very smart and highly imaginative, so you enrolled him in preschool and it turned out just fine. Now, he's started first grade and has been assigned a paraprofessional to help out when needed.

I know it hasn't been easy for you. Juggling a stressful job, a special needs child, finding appropriate care for your child and the mountain medical and everyday bills is certainly overwhelming. However, I have faith that you can handle it. It’s okay to lean on those around you. Your parents have been extremely helpful in watching your son when needed, bringing him to doctors visits on occasion. Don’t feel guilty for asking this of them. You try not to abuse their generosity and only ask when necessary.

When you received your son’s diagnosis, it was a mixed blessing. On one hand, it’s a relief to have a name for the difficulties he’s been experiencing, on the other, you experience loss and wonder if any of your dreams for his future, the dreams all parents have for their children, will every come true. Will he be able to hold a job or drive a car? Will he ever be able to live on his own or get married? What about the more immediate concerns, like interacting appropriately with other children? Will he be teased? Will his behaviors change and can you help him become all that he can be?

You’re a strong woman, Pamela. Your son’s father is still in his life but on a limited basis. It’s not easy to be both parents 95% of the time, let alone be both parents to a child with special needs. You can do it though. I know you can. You’ve got an amazing son who is such a blessing. When you’re pushed to the limit, remember that he was sent to you for a reason. His humor and imagination, his incredible love for you and the way he makes others feel are some of the gifts he was meant share. Sometimes, he’ll say just the right thing to bring clarity to a situation, and remind you of what is truly important.

God bless you both and remember that He never gives us more than we can handle (even though it might not seem like it at the time!).

Take care.

Me